You've Got Me
by anneryn7
Summary: Penelope/Reid oneshot. AU. I tried not to push Spencer, I really did. He was starting to act more like himself. He wasn't as closed off anymore, but I didn't want to push my luck. He seemed like he was actively trying to force himself to be okay, when I could tell that he wasn't. I knew that he was still hurting, despite his brave face, and it killed me.


**A/N: Here's another Penelope/Reid oneshot for ya.**

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 **I DO NOT OWN** _ **CRIMINAL MINDS**_ **OR THE CHARACTERS.**

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Seeing Spencer like this kills me. I don't know how to help him or what I can do to make it change. I just know that I can't sit idly by and continue to do nothing. I can't stand to see him suffer so much. It breaks my heart. Reid was finally starting to be happy. I know that he thought that the team couldn't see the subtle changes in his mood or his behavior, but we could. His eyes shone in a way that I had never seen before. He seemed like a new man.

When Maeve died, it was like something inside of Spencer died. No one faulted him for it. How could something that horrific not crush him? Neither of them deserved what happened. It wasn't fair… but life wasn't fair. That was something that everyone in our line of work knows, all too well.

"Garcia, what is it?" Spencer asked me, as I not-so-subtly stared at him. My eyes grew wide and I forced my gaze to drop to the floor. I asked him multiple times, since Maeve's death, how he was holding up. But I didn't want to push him and I didn't want to pry. He made it clear that he would come to us, if he needed anything. I was bad at that – distancing myself, when someone I loved was hurting.

"Nothing, I better get back to work." I lied and excused myself. I went back to work in my Cave of Wonders and tried to forget about everything else.

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The next six months went on basically the same way. I tried not to push Spencer, I really did. He was starting to act more like himself. He wasn't as closed off anymore, but I didn't want to push my luck. He seemed like he was actively trying to force himself to be okay, when I could tell that he wasn't. Everyone else on the team had basically accepted that he had grieved and moved on, except for Hotch. I just knew that wasn't the case. I knew Spencer. I paid attention. I knew that he was still hurting, despite his brave face, and it killed me.

I debriefed the team on a few things that had come to light, after they caught the serial killer that he had been chasing in New Mexico, when they landed in Quantico. The nodded and got to work with the last of their paperwork, before retiring for the night. I did my part on the computer and tried to focus on anything but Spencer, with no avail.

A knock on my door caused me to jump and almost fall out of my chair. I whirled around and saw Spencer. He gave me a nervous smile, before stepping into my office.

"Hey, do you have a minute? I was hoping that we could talk." He announced.

"Of course, I always have time for my favorite Boy Wonder." I smiled. His smile broadened, as he stepped inside and closed the door behind him. I beckoned him to sit down in the vacant chair next to me.

"I hope I'm not interrupting." He told me. I waved away his apology.

"Even if you were, I wouldn't mind, Spencer. You know that." I told him, sincerely. "What's on your mind, handsome?" I asked him, my curiosity getting the best of me.

"You've been different the last few months. I didn't know if it was something that I did… Or if you were trying to keep your distance to respect me, which I appreciate. You've been there through everything for me, Penelope. I can't tell you how much I appreciate that and you. I just… I wanted to make sure that we were okay." He admitted.

"Oh sugar," I sighed, pulled him into a hug. I knew that I took him by surprise, but it didn't take long for him to hug me back. "I didn't want to push you. I know that you have your own way of doing things and I didn't to overstep. I tried not to hover. I just… I hate seeing you hurting, especially when there's nothing I can do to help you." I explained. He gave me a squeeze, before pulling out of our embrace.

"That means even more… I know how hard that is for you to do. I'm so grateful to you, Penelope. You don't have to, you know. I mean, you don't have to continue to keep a distance. I did need it before, but I don't need that now. I miss having you right there with me. You've never minded if I needed to lean on you or judged me for it. You're one of my best friends. I need you." He breathed. I saw the glassy look in his eyes and I knew that he was trying to compose himself. My heart ached for him.

"You're one of mine, too. Say no more. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. No matter what happens, Spencer, you always have me. I promise you that. You're part of my family and I love you." I confessed my feelings to him.

"I love you, too. I love you more than just friendship or family. I have for a long time. With Derek and Kevin… I never thought that I stood a chance. You know? I'm not handsome or funny like they are. I'm just me. I'm awkward and weird. When I met Maeve…" his voice broke. "We had so much in common. She didn't care about my mannerisms or what I looked like. She just accepted me. It was so hard…" He cried and wiped away the tears spilling down his cheeks. "I don't know why I'm telling you now. I understand, if you don't feel the same way. Really, I do. I'm not expecting anything in return. I just needed you to know."

"Spencer, of course I love you. You're devastatingly handsome. You don't need to be like Kevin or Derek. You're a catch. You have the best, kindest heart. I'm so thankful to have you in my life. I don't know what I would do without you. I never acted on it, for reasons similar to yours. I never thought that I was good enough for you, or that you would see me the same way. I'm so sorry if I've ever made you feel anything less than accepted." I sniffled. He put his arms around me and we held each other.

"You never did, Penelope. I – I don't know where to go from here. I'm not ready for much, right now. I'm still grieving and I don't want to rush this. You're so much more than a rebound." He confessed.

"We don't have to do anything, Spencer. We can just keep going how we are. We're friends. We can keep getting to know each other and spend more time together. If something grows from that, then we can go from there." I suggested. He looked at me with a smile.

"I don't know how you do it, but you seem to always know what to say." He mused, as he touched his forehead to mine.

"I'm glad we talked. I think we both needed it." I told him. He nodded, in agreement.

"Can I… can I kiss you?" He asked, hesitantly. I nodded, not trusting my voice. He touched his lips to mine, softly. My eyes fluttered shut and I forgot how to breathe. It was just a taste of what we had and I knew that I would want more. How could I not?

He nibbled on my bottom lip and I parted my lips for him. He slipped his tongue into my mouth and dominated the kiss. I gasped against him and did my best to follow his lead. He pulled me closer to him and I melted into the kiss.

"Well, this is a development." Rossi said from behind us. I jumped and pulled away from Spencer. He didn't look sorry, if anything, he looked sheepish. "I knew that it was only a matter of time." He grinned. I blushed and Spencer rubbed the back of his neck. "I'll let you two kids carry on. I'll see you in the morning." He excused himself.

"Do you want to get a late dinner with me?" Spencer asked. I nodded.

"More than anything." I agreed.

"It's a date."


End file.
